As we walked up to the store, the first thing we saw was the big teddy bear mascot blocking the door. Molly is pretty cool with most things, but she has reached her limit with big, dumb-ass mascots. The bear was making people give him high-fives to get in – so Molly marched up - gave him the token high-five and was like “alright sir – I have done my duty – step aside.” That bear wasn’t moving, so Molly took a swing at him - but since he was busy accosting M’s daughter and trying to get her to give him a high-five, he didn’t notice Molly. She gave him a disgusted look and pushed her way past him into the store - pausing only briefly to hit up his handler for a bear sticker on her hand on the way in.
It was going okay for the first few minutes, but then I could tell Molly was already starting to check out and get bored. After she picked her bear (which was actually a cute and fuzzy little grey koala) she took her sticker off her hand and slapped it dead between her eyes. She then started telling anyone who would listen that “this is my move...” She would bust into a combo Beyonce butt bounce dance with a disco arm pointing thing, followed by vogue-ing into her final stance of her hips thrown out to one side, and both her hands on her waist.
Based on this, it was clearly going to be left up to me to finish the koala as Beyonce Jr worked on “her move.” M and her daughter were behind us in the process and I kept looking back at them as they were laughing and sharing some quality time. This was not how I pictured this day going down at all!
After I finished stuffing and fluffing the koala – it was time for Molly to pick an outfit for her new stuffed friend. Panties were first and Molly picked a pair of hot pink hello kitty ones…so far so good. Then we moved to the actual outfits and I shit you not – there had to of been at least 300 girl outfits alone, not to mention the accessories (everything from clip on cell phones, roller-skates, earrings to headbands).
I was trying to show Molly some princess looking outfits when she spotted the only hootchie momma looking dress in the whole place. She was insistent that was the one she wanted and there was no talking her out of it. The dress she picked had a hot-pink and low-cut bodice with a black skirt covered in multi-coloured sequins. It looked like something a transvestite would wear. She found matching glittery earrings – and Lola the Hootchie Showgirl Koala was born.
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| Lola...sharing some quality "get to know you" time with Sleep Sheep. |
Molly (with the sticker still between her eyes) and Lola the Showgirl started Beyonce butt shaking around the store. I was getting the questionable stare from plenty of parents, but – Molly – oblivious to it all – was busy telling everyone that Lola was a dancer so she didn’t need shoes. Sweet Jesus. At least she didn’t ask if they had any four inch stilettos and maybe a pole for Lola.
M’s daughter on the other hand has picked a pastel pink and blue bear, and had dressed her in a wedding dress. She named her Heart Love and said she was going to get married and become a momma.
When we got back to my house, we sat Lola and Heart Love beside each other on a stool while the girls ran off to play. As the stuffed animals sat there side by side – it was hard not to compare the two’s handiwork.
M started laughing and saying it was so funny since the girls were so different and the stuffies reflected them perfectly. Yeah – easy for the mother of the girl who picked out a wedding dress to laugh about! “I told you I am totally screwed - I think we are looking at a replica of Molly’s future prom dress!”
M suggested maybe Lola can be a bridesmaid at Heart Love’s wedding. I wouldn’t count on it - I don’t think that is how Lola will roll. I don’t see Lola being anyone’s wingman.
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| Lola and Beyonce Jr getting some well earned sleep |
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